The inevitable change. The moment when suddenly your kids aren’t littles running around the house anymore, but teenagers (and soon to be young adults) ready to take their own leap forward. I’m feeling it now more than ever, so come sit with me, friend (you may need to grab a tissue).

Today I drove one of my girls to take her driver’s test this past weekend (she confidently passed, by the way)

Later, I sat at the table grading our oldest’s practice ACT.

And somewhere in the middle of those two things, it caught me off guard—

How did we get here?

Not in a dramatic way. Just quietly, almost like I had missed something.

Where have I been for the past five years?

And of course, I know.

I’ve been right here.

Packing lunches. Piled up on the couch for our Friday night movie nights.
Helping with homework at the kitchen table.
Quizzing Bible verses, hoping they’d remember by Monday morning.
Dancing in the kitchen to whatever song was their favorite before they grabbed their bags and ran for the bus.

I have memories of all of it.

But they feel… fast.

Like they slipped through my fingers a little quicker than I expected (those ABBA lyrics are sinking in deeper these days)

And I’m not shocked – It’s the very thing people tell you when your kids are little. But in those early days you only hear them, you don’t quite understand yet.

Not until you’re here.

When you’ve reached the stage of parenting teens where they don’t need you in the same ways anymore. When you find yourself riding the line between parenting and holding onto precious moments during seasons of change.

Where the conversations shift. The responsibilities grow. The future feels closer than it used to, and you find yourself trying to stay present enough to really see it while also, quietly, already grieving what’s coming next.

*sets glasses down off my face to have a good sob- asking why am I so emotional about all this

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Parenting Teens and Learning to Let Go

Eh, ehm….I didn’t expect this part.

The holding and the letting go, happening at the same time.

I’ve been thinking back to when I was their age.

Eighteen. A senior in high school. Full of plans and hopes and absolutely no real understanding of what was coming.

I was taking two AP classes.
I was also being diagnosed with cancer.
Going through surgeries, healing slowly, my arm still stapled at the shoulder and held in a sling.
Filling out scholarship applications.
Trying to decide where I would go next.

I remember taking my ACT with a friend who had to fill in the bubbles for me because I physically couldn’t.
Begging my doctors to let me go on our senior trip, even though I wasn’t fully healed.
And then, just like that, walking across the stage at graduation.

Moving forward. Always forward.

As I reflect on how I spent my time at that age, I want to impart as much influence as I can on my kids to grasp at every moment. This has been a conversation in our house, especially as of late – reframing how they think of free time and how we’ve been thinking about boredom wrong. Re-learning that moments are meant to be savored, not rushed through.

What We Don’t See When We’re Young

What I don’t remember doing… is looking back.

Not really.

I didn’t stop to think about my parents or what it might have felt like for them to watch me go.
I didn’t think about my siblings, or what it meant for them.

I was ready for what was next.

Maybe it was youth. Maybe it was survival. Maybe it was just the way we’re wired at that age—to step forward without hesitation.

But now, standing on the other side of it…

I feel it differently.

I feel the weight of what they must have carried quietly.
The pride.
The hope.
And the grief, all tangled together.

5 Simple Ways to Savor Time With Your Teenagers

How can I lean into precious moments with my kids?

I don’t have this figured out. I’m still in it.

I have routines of how I move through each season – how I slow down summer or relish in the quiet of winter. But there is no rulebook for how to pause and savor time with your kids. I’m still learning.

There are a few small things I find myself coming back to in this season of parenting teens.

Not perfectly. Just intentionally.

1. Sit a little longer when they’re there

Even if the dishes are waiting. Even if there’s something else I should be doing.

These moments don’t always announce themselves as important—but they are.

As much as we are conditioned to rush onto the next task, you have five minutes.

Trust me, you do.

So sit, leave room for another conversation to come up or simply hang onto the moment for a few extra minutes – I’ve been really working on this lately.

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2. Offer to drive them

Even when it would be easier not to.

There always seems to be a handful of those car rides each week—where we are stationary in the car, and the conversation lingers a little longer than it might at home.
Something about being side by side, looking ahead, makes space for things that don’t always get said otherwise.

These are precious moments, even if the only noise is the lull of the road.

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3. Say yes to the conversation, even when it’s inconvenient

The late-night talks. The passing comments that turn into something more.

Showing them that you care. You want to listen.

That you have empathy for what they are experiencing, and you want to sit through it with them.
These open conversations don’t always come when it’s easy—but they matter.

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4. Do something small for them that they didn’t ask for

Make their bed. Stop for ice cream. Fold their laundry. Set something aside that you know they like.
Not because they can’t do it—but because, for a little while longer, you still can.

And maybe, just maybe, they will choose to help you out at home in return 🙂 (bible verses, helping with Roman Clay walls)

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5. Notice it, even the ordinary parts

The backpacks by the door.
The shoes kicked off in the wrong place.
The way the house sounds when they’re all home.

Because these are the things I already know I’ll miss.

They Don’t Leave—They Become

We didn’t get here by accident.

We raised them for this.
For independence.
For courage.
For stepping into their own lives.

Even if it feels a little like losing them in the process.

And maybe the work now isn’t to stop time—but to stay present inside of it.

To notice.
To sit a little longer.
To keep showing up—even as the shape of our role begins to change.

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What I’ve Learned Moving Through Seasons of Change with My Kids

If the last five years have taught me anything, it’s this:

Our kids don’t disappear.
They just quietly become the next versions of themselves.

And we have to learn how to meet them there—
with purposeful parenting: patience, presence, and love.

My hope is that, in all the ways we’ve shown up—through small moments, quiet conversations, and everyday gestures—we’ve built enough memories, connection, and love that someday, when they look back, they’ll know we were always here. We miss them.

And that we will always be home.

Navigating the Teen Years

Memories of tucking them into bed at night feel closer than they really are, and if you are finding it hard to believe this new stage of life, I’m right there with you.

Remember that as routines and boundaries change, intentionality is so important in this season of life because I don’t think we make the most of these days by holding tighter. I think we do it by noticing them while they’re still here

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